Setting: Barnes & Noble Café circa 2005
• We will sneak kisses with our boyfriends who refer to themselves as "Italian Stallions" whilst on dishwashing duty.
• We will frequently break off pieces of dough from the completely frozen chocolate chip cookies and eat it. We will try it with the feta-stuffed pretzel, and it will be less satisfying.
• We will ask you to ring up your books in the front of the store, unless we really like you because you once purchased a dog calendar a year ago.
• We will feel sorry for the employees in their early twenties who may as well be 40 who may as well be dead. Why are they bothering to wear lipstick, we will ask ourselves.
• We will get big fights over stolen purses with our best friends who also work here and people will wonder--is this the end of our friendship? Everyone will care and want to talk it. Often.
• Though we sell Starbucks products, we are not owned by Starbucks and therefore cannot take your gift card. We are distraught by this, too.