birds in a barrel's mission is to release creative nonfiction into the wild.

40 Days & 40 Writes is its first project.

Cinderella's Risk

One of my favorite new (to me) poets, Nayyirah Waheed is nudging me on this one: "when creating. be kind to your doubt. hear it out. thank it for its concern. and reassure it that you are an artist. and risk is essential." So, here is my risk.

Honestly, the first thing that came to mind here about faking it, is faking "IT". You know, the big O.

Even though I grew up on the heels of the 60's sexual revolution, I was no more liberated than a peanut in an unopened can of Planter's. Archaic and outdate ideas prevailed then and now: pleasing him. Well, no more. What about pleasing me?

Peggy Orenstein writes about this in her book "Girls and Sex". I recommend it every chance I get. Not just for girls. I have adult women clients who experience epiphanies (and other things) when they read this.

My adolescent and young adult clients struggle naively with porn, hookup culture and the sundry unfortunate realities. Sex drugs rock and roll hasn't changed much. Sadly.

Orenstein's point is we need Aunties not sex ed to help the young women in our lives and families to understand their right to pleasure and the discernment of how that plays out in relationships (not exclusively heterosexual).

I just want to mention here an oldie but goodie read: Lonnie Barbach's "For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality." After reading this, I finally knew what an orgasm was = risk!

As a family therapist, I am amazed, to this day at the paucity of discussion in couples about the very thing that was so easy to do in the first place, becomes the thing that is a common presenting problem in therapy years later. C'mon people, read up! Help this therapist (and help yourself) and put away the 50 Shades and get some good information.

Thanks Dad

Expert on German History