My uncle about five years ago asked me if I understood what was happening. As this question came out of the blue, I simple answered, no what is happening. He proceeded to say you realize you are taking our shoes, your kids are beginning to take your shoes and their kids will soon take your children’s shoes. A sobering thought. A huge lump took over my throat, I croaked out okay Uncle. I walked away immediately trying to compose myself as I was near tears. By us taking over their shoes that means that generation of family will soon be gone. The day he said this he, his wife, my aunt and my mom we alive. Today there are only two left, my mom and my uncle’s wife. We all thank God for that.
It’s amazing how quickly life has flown by. I remember being my daughters age. It feels like it was just yesterday. I vividly remember going through some of the same trials and tribulations they are now going through. It’s eerie to watch our daughters, nieces, and nephews as it wasn’t so long ago that we were the young ones. Today the younger generation out numbers the older ones. Our family is expanding and the little ones are growing. It won’t be long before one day I will be saying to my nieces the same thing my uncle said to me. Which will be very sobering as I will walk away wondering; where did all the years go?
As I look at my age I realize if I follow my father’s shoes I’m almost at the end of my rope. In nine years my life could be done. I’m praying I will take after my mom.
Looking at it that way I need to get on the stick and make sure to get all those craft projects I started and haven’t finished, done. I need to begin to give myself the okay to let go of somethings I feel I have to do and begin doing more of the things I want to do. 40 writes has helped me in taking time each day to do something I love. My thoughts may ramble at times, but I realize that’s okay. I’m actually letting my mind write. I can always edit later. When I write that 40th piece it will be with satisfaction as there is no almost. There will be I did it. That in itself is a wonderful feeling.
I’m going to begin applying taking time out of my day to do something like read a few pages of a book, do a craft, take an extra walk on the beach, talk to a friend I haven’t talked with. I think we’re all guilty of almost doing something, but then something gets in our way and either we never do the intended task or it gets partially done and put to the side until we can get back to it.
I began the process of purging things out of our house. I’m almost done with one room, there’s still the rest of the house. Maybe that’s an almost that will wait until the girls get settled and I can just box their stuff and every time I see them deliver a box for them to decide what they want done with it.
Almost is a double edge sword it can provide you satisfaction when you complete a task. It can also bring sadness or frustration when the task keeps getting put off.
Maybe never completing something and always being almost done is a way to stave off the finish line of life.