birds in a barrel's mission is to release creative nonfiction into the wild.

40 Days & 40 Writes is its first project.

Goody Two Shoes

I am a self-confessed goody two shoes. I do everything by the book and hope that everyone around me does the same. I wear my seat belt, I come to a full stop at a stop sign, I never have more than 15 items in the fast checkout line. I am super polite, avoid confrontation at all costs and hug people even if it's the first time meeting them.

I don't find it a thrill to break rules and be rebellious. That doesn't mean I'm any less a free spirit than anyone else. I'm simply not wired to feel as if I'm getting away with something that I shouldn't be doing. I don't want to be in danger, nor do I want to put others in danger.

I experimented with different illegal drugs in the past and discovered I didn't need pot to laugh, eat and sleep. I do that pretty well on my own. I got busted with a fake ID because I handed the cop my fake ID. And then I had to go to court and sit next to all these hand-cuffed criminals, only to be fined $100, which I had to borrow from my brother and THAT made me feel terrible. I don't want to feel terrible. I don't like the anxiety I get with knowingly breaking rules and I'm really having a hard time trying to figure out what "rules" I break now.

Borrowing Mom's handicapped parking sign to be able to park closer to the store? I've only done that once and I felt so bad about it that I only bought a few things and got out of the store as fast as I could. And limped back to the car as if to justify the parking spot. So dumb. I don't need to justify why I don't break rules, it's simply not my jam. Happiness, peace and harmony are my jam. And living my life this way is much better. For me.

Go Until They Say No

Unhook Me, OK?