I am a self-confessed goody two shoes. I do everything by the book and hope that everyone around me does the same. I wear my seat belt, I come to a full stop at a stop sign, I never have more than 15 items in the fast checkout line. I am super polite, avoid confrontation at all costs and hug people even if it's the first time meeting them.
I don't find it a thrill to break rules and be rebellious. That doesn't mean I'm any less a free spirit than anyone else. I'm simply not wired to feel as if I'm getting away with something that I shouldn't be doing. I don't want to be in danger, nor do I want to put others in danger.
I experimented with different illegal drugs in the past and discovered I didn't need pot to laugh, eat and sleep. I do that pretty well on my own. I got busted with a fake ID because I handed the cop my fake ID. And then I had to go to court and sit next to all these hand-cuffed criminals, only to be fined $100, which I had to borrow from my brother and THAT made me feel terrible. I don't want to feel terrible. I don't like the anxiety I get with knowingly breaking rules and I'm really having a hard time trying to figure out what "rules" I break now.
Borrowing Mom's handicapped parking sign to be able to park closer to the store? I've only done that once and I felt so bad about it that I only bought a few things and got out of the store as fast as I could. And limped back to the car as if to justify the parking spot. So dumb. I don't need to justify why I don't break rules, it's simply not my jam. Happiness, peace and harmony are my jam. And living my life this way is much better. For me.