Promises are tricky. Whoever coined the line promises are like pie crust, made to be broken was spot on. Should promises be made?
Promises need to be made on the big things in life. Marriage, family, and trust are a few which come instantly to mind.
To make things work between two people you need that promise of commitment, that there will be no one else in your life. The promise gives both people the security which is needed to open their hearts and to truly be with the other person. That promise of commitment is what truly makes a relationship blossom and grow. If that promise isn’t made and kept, then there is constant tension. If given to the right person, it can transform both lives into a love which is beyond anything one could imagine.
The promise to family or someone who is like family is important. Family is the one place you should always be able to turn to for unconditional love. Because no matter how much you promise something, sometimes missteps are taken, it could be due to immaturity, addiction, attitude. We all need someone to turn to, someone who can forgive our broken promise, someone who you gives us something no one else will.
As for children we need to be careful what is promised to them. When our daughters were younger they always wanted us to promise them that we would go to Chicago, see a movie, etc. We never promised them those things. We would always say we’ll see. Our promises were for the bigger things in their lives. The ability to go to college and not have to worry about how they were going to pay for it. The ability to not have a summer job until the summer before their freshmen year in college and then it was only to earn their spending money. My husband and I made a promise to each other on how we wanted to raise the girls, what our expectations were, what we were willing to do for them if they listened and did their part and so on. We were strict but also very fair. They knew their jobs were to go to school, get good grades and to not get mixed in with the wrong crowd. We never made them promise us. They just did what was asked, did it beautifully and in return we did for them.
Promises should be made on finances. Financially couples need to sit down and agree upon how they want to run their financial life. A promise is then made and each person needs to stick to it. We promised ourselves to save and to never get ourselves in debt. Before we could do one thing, the other thing had to be paid off. It served us well.
The biggest promise comes in the trust department. If you cannot promise the other person that you can be trusted, then in my opinion all else fails. I promise to take care of you or I promise you are the only one for me are spoken promises which can only come true if you promise to be trustworthy and truthful.
Keeping promises seem to be in short supply these days. Is it because there’s a lack of time, or are people really not willing to work at keeping promises? It is sad to see how easily someone can make a promise to you and within two seconds break it.
Promises need to be verbalized in the start of relationships. As life goes on promises are said less but always should continue to be woven into the relationship one has with themselves and others.