birds in a barrel's mission is to release creative nonfiction into the wild.

40 Days & 40 Writes is its first project.

My Voice

I don't really know how to fight. And I say this because I'm extremely non-confrontational. I don't think quickly on my feet to prove my point. I'd rather find harmony in all situations or let someone else do the dirty work. I know that's a chicken shit way out of dealing with something, but that's how I've done it most of my adult life.

Only now I am "working" on standing up for myself and letting go of the fear of pushing back when I think something is not right. I don't like hearing that I'm too "sensitive" as if that is a bad thing. I think things through, I want to problem solve instead of rushing into action hoping it will work out. I don't like to lash out and intentionally hurt someone.

A recent friendship ended because I didn't want to be around a constantly negative and pissed off person. A person who had to fight about everything because "life is unfair". No it's not, you're just wired to think that way and always see the negative in every situation. Now, I'm willing to fight for what I believe is right, even if I don't have a first hand experience in the situation. Fight for equal rights, fight for gun control, fight for health care. I'm realizing that a fight doesn't have to be one on one and I'm better if I'm fighting with those who believe in justice and decency and compassion. And I think that maybe, just maybe, the strength that I feel in a group will slowly rub off and I'll be able to stand on my own. And stand up for myself on my own and not shy away from confrontation. And I'll find my voice. I'm willing to fight for that.

Face Value