birds in a barrel's mission is to release creative nonfiction into the wild.

40 Days & 40 Writes is its first project.

Consigned to Oblivion
past participle of forget.
synonyms: unremembered, out of mind, past recollection, beyond/past recall, consigned to oblivion; left behind, neglected, overlooked, ignored, disregarded, unrecognized.

I have a daughter in law who has chosen all of the above when it comes to us, i.e., husband and I.

It was clear when she latched on to my son, we were lost to him, because, there is clearly no room in DIL's world but her and all that she controls in her sphere.

From the beginning, we tried to be inclusive and understanding the family dysfunction she comes from. She is a parentified child. This means, her role in her family of origin was never one as child, always the one in charge and taking care of everyone. She believes she raised her twin brothers. She refers to her parents as her "kids". Not kidding.

After a point, it was impossible to turn a blind accepting eye to her family's functioning. Heavy drinking, partying, fighting all night, and then everything is "fine" the next day. DIL used to come to me with wanting me to help with this (I am a psychotherapist). She does no longer because I refuse to help, when help really isn't wanted or needed.

And, it is not for me to do. It stretches the boundaries of "family".

The more we could not collude with the dysfunction, the more distant DIL became. Now there are grandchildren, and if we are lucky, we may see them once in awhile.

I am being punished for being honest. And sad on this holiday weekend that this is the way it is, and is going to be.


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