birds in a barrel's mission is to release creative nonfiction into the wild.

40 Days & 40 Writes is its first project.

Dear Other Me In A Parallel Universe

I think about you pretty often. About every five years or so, at least, but more frequently now that we are past the big 4-0. A song, a video clip, a photo from the past -- all these things will occasionally bring back those days when we were one and the same. Dreaming of feeling, of being noticed, of becoming... so many possibilities.

All the choices, they were almost overwhelming sometimes. And the push to succeed, but that meant so many things to so many people. All I wanted was to have a different life from what I had then, a different life from my mother, for sure. But I still loved all those people around me... and I liked the surety of meals, electricity, someone who had my back. So then I lost you.

You, who I imagine made it work at the university in the big city that I was ultimately to scared to go to. You probably had an awful time getting used to the wind and the snow and people asking you to say things just to hear your sultry accent. I am sure you wrote scathing and hilarious articles and skits and you probably are even a little bit famous, at this point, by people in-the-know...

But are you happy? Do you have a family? You probably have an addiction that you can't quite recover from but at least keeps you thin. Do you sentimentally wonder about me?

Here in my universe, I am living such a banal life, the kind we really would have spit on... our generation of women are supposed to be bossing and working it and doing it all and having it all... except I kind of DO have it all. So much love, so much joy, so much amazing new learning experience just in watching the world and the human experience unfold in its very boring, repetitive way it has unfolded for eons. So maybe I did not follow my dream and write, write, write and eke out novels and screenplays until it earned me enough money to pay the bills without two other jobs... sometimes I still wish I had... but I am fairly happy, very well-fed, helping society -- one kid and one conversation at a time -- and hopefully raising a young woman that will be daring enough to chase her dreams down and own them. And also, there is still time. It is running out, but it hasn't ended, and maybe we shall meet again before the last sunset.

Cherub Card

When You Walk Through a Storm, Giggle