birds in a barrel's mission is to release creative nonfiction into the wild.

40 Days & 40 Writes is its first project.

Hands

I am racing my hands to the end of my life.

3 years ago I had an accident where I dropped a rolling giant trash can on my head and in the process, discovered that I had some nerve damage in the cervical area of my spine in my neck. This damage has affected my use of my hands. I have lost feeling in my arm and dexterity and the ability to move and sense where my hand is in space.

At that time or just previously, I had been seeing several different doctors trying to figure out what the issue might be with my hands.

My primary doctor decided that I needed to have a muscle test where thin needles are inserted into the muscle and an electrical impulse is shot into the muscle to test the nerve and the muscle and its response to the impulse. It was not the most pleasant experience but since I work in health care, I was willing.

The technician came into connect me to the needles and the electrical impulse. She was young, beautiful, smart and talkative and she deflected the energy floating around in the room about the test.

The neurologist came in to administer the test and his name was Erboboghene Ubogu. I had to ask him where he was from and he replied " Nigeria." I asked him what his name meant in English. He said jokingly "you Americans have names that don't have meaning." I again asked him what the meaning of his name was.

During this time, he was sending electrical impulses down my arm. Finally after he finished, he said "my name means everything is in GOD's hands."

This was prior to the trashcan incident. I was terrified that I had Parkinson's or some other muscular condition that was manifesting itself. This moment allowed me to breathe a little deeper and to stop racing around in my head.

I have since taken up painting and making books. I was told to use my hands as much as possible and typing is very good for them.

For me, everything including my hands are in God's hands.
And today I am grateful.

Hair

Consigned to Oblivion