birds in a barrel's mission is to release creative nonfiction into the wild.

40 Days & 40 Writes is its first project.


It feels unfair that we've lost Anthony Bourdain. Unfair that a person who dedicated his life to indiscriminate connection, who sought to know what people ate so that he could know how they lived, is gone. It's unfair that we'll never understand why a person who seemed to live life so fully died by suicide. What does it mean for the rest of us?

It's unfair that we're living in a world where the news makes our heads spin, where we can't keep up. That the most powerful man on Earth is incapable of empathy. That his lack of emotional capacity means deep, intractable suffering for many. That we've become inured to racist language from our leaders. It seems unfair that we adjusted to this new reality. Sometimes I wish we would run around screaming our heads off instead.

Inherited trauma is unfair. That we take on the patterns and the hurts of our ancestors, and unknowingly repeat them with our children. It's unfair that some people wake up into consciousness of this, and others never will. Sometimes it feels as though no matter how hard I try, my emotional default state remains low because it's was decided by the generations of depressed people who came before me.

Hegemony is unfair. The patriarchy is unfair. Systemic racism and oppression is unfair. Murder is unfair. Genocide is unfair.

Some days, this whole setup we call life seems unfair. Like, we're just supposed to make peace with the fact that despite our best efforts, it's all gonna end someday? We're just supposed to order cat food on Amazon, clip our fingernails and forget that death will come for all of us? Why DON'T we run around screaming our heads off?!

Today is just one of those days, man, where I just shake my head and wish I never got out of bed.

My Thoughts

Blessings on the Bardo