birds in a barrel's mission is to release creative nonfiction into the wild.

40 Days & 40 Writes is its first project.

The End

It was late, the windows were open and a cool evening breeze rolled slowly over our warm bodies. He was on his side of the bed, and I was on mine, we didn't speak, only looked into each others eyes.

I was at a loss for words. I'm here, naked, laying in his bed, ready to share myself with him and we've spent the last 30 minutes arguing over who was supposed to bring the condoms.

I think to myself, "This man is out of his mind." And, mentally rehearse a dramatic exit.

For some reason, he interpreted my not bringing the condoms as being selfish and honestly, his argument was so strange I laid their asking myself why I decided to have sex with him in the first place. I'm all for women being prepared and I'm all for women owning their sexuality, but in this case, I needed him to bring the condoms. For me, his bringing the condoms became the evidence that I was important. It was the evidence that this moment was special enough for him to make the time to buy condoms to make sure we were both protected.

Our union was complicated. There were loose ends that needed to be mended and the lack of attention to these loose ends were weighing on me. So, my need to have him step up to take responsibility for the condoms was a move to mending those ends.

Instead, it became clear this was the end.


Progress Not Perfection