birds in a barrel's mission is to release creative nonfiction into the wild.

40 Days & 40 Writes is its first project.

Fake Love

We were married before two hundred family and friends and we professed our love before God and all those attended. I was overjoyed and and I thought he was too, but 15 years later he knelt at my bedside and sincerely shared, "I love you, but I am not in love with you."

With those words he was released from oppression trapped by a cage of lies. He felt freedom of expression, no longer had to fake his feelings, and the cage door opened to pursue the opportunity to explore beyond his surroundings. He does not fly far because there is more that holds him close to his current bondage.

With his words "I love you, but I am not in love with you." I became oppressed by his truth. Traumatized by his ability to fake love. I am injured, spiraling, spinning, and forgetting how to fly. In this cage I feel trapped, but I was not alone. God's presence surrounded me. And although I still love him my freedom from oppression is not about him, but God's love for me. God showed me the cage door was not locked it could be opened with my faith. In the cage I saw that he never had to love me to experience the satisfaction of God's unconditional love. With the cage door opened I saw God's world of possibilities, hope, direction, joy, opportunities, and peace. If he doesn't love me, I don't have to like it but nobody should fake love. With a broken wing I may flutter but with God's strength I will soar.


Heat Wave