birds in a barrel's mission is to release creative nonfiction into the wild.

40 Days & 40 Writes is its first project.

Dear Riot Games

I know you get a lot of letters from hardcore gamers who have spent months fine tuning a killer proposal for an MMORPG that will totally revolutionize the massively multiplayer universe. But I'm the one who has actually done it. (See attachment)

If you read further, we'll assume you've agreed to our NDA. No stealing, okay?

Briefly, the Game takes place in the not too distant future after Aliens have colonized the planet to use as a remote hothouse to grow their food. Big problem: their food is toxic to Humans. Worse problem: Humans can't tell the difference between Alien and Human food. A lot of Humans get sick and die without knowing why. Some just get sick but never get well. It's a mess. In no time, civilization as we know it collapses.

No one, I mean no one, saw the apocalypse coming. The Aliens cleverly came to Earth in the form of skinny fashion models. Humans fell in love with them on sight, idolizing their translucent, weakness. By the time the toxic food entered the food system, the little creatures had zipped back to their home planet. Turns out Earth is too hostile for the creatures to spend much time here.

The surviving Humans are those hard working souls who, trusting only themselves, dropped everything to scavage for wild foods. They learned what to eat and what to avoid by trial and error. Gradually, they grew stronger, which is a key part of the game. The best players get really jacked by eating smart and fighting off other humans who want some of the foods they've stashed away.

The best part of the fights is that the winner is the one who first rips off the other player's arm or leg. The loser slinks away to find the foods necessary to regenerate that dismembered limb. (I thought it would be bad for Humans to kill Humans after all they'd been through with the toxic Alien food and the end of civilization and such.)

But they can kill Aliens, who have to pop back to Earth occasionally to gather their Alien food. When Humans catches one, they put both hands around their skinny Alien neck and squeeze until their little Barbie and Ken heads pop off. All Humans have to do is avoid being touched by the tip of the Alien's tongue, which will paralyze them and allow the Alien to escape.

The scene is set for addictive fun.

Looking forward to hearing from you,


Brought to You by the Letter 'Why'