birds in a barrel's mission is to release creative nonfiction into the wild.

40 Days & 40 Writes is its first project.

Falling, Falling, Falling

I’m losing my hair.

I used to have really thick, healthy hair that grew like weeds. I had so much hair that when I shaved the sides of my head a few years back, it looked like I still had a full head of hair when I pulled the rest of it down over the bald spots. I took my hair for granted. Whether I shaved it, fried it, flattened it, curled it, it always bounced back.

When you have so much hair and you keep it on the long side, you also shed a lot of hair. It sounds alarming but clumps of tangled hair would come off when I shampooed my hair. I find strands of hair on the floor of my house all the time. It’s one of my greatest pet peeves about myself, this shedding of hair. So when my hair started to fall out sometime in the beginning of the year, I didn’t notice. Then one day, when I clutched all of my hair in one hand to tie it back, I could feel that there was a heck of a lot less of it than there used to be. The amount of hair I held in one hand felt like the amount of hair I had when I had both sides of my head shaved. I’ve mentioned this to a few friends and they all told me that it’s fine, no one can tell. But I can tell and I didn’t realize what a disconcerting and upsetting thing it is to start losing a part of yourself that you’ve always assumed would be there with you. Nowadays, I constantly see precious strands falling onto my back, shoulder, arm, car seat, floor, my lunch, pillow, everywhere. Just falling, falling, falling.

The Hazards and Heaven of Hair

On Fire