birds in a barrel's mission is to release creative nonfiction into the wild.

40 Days & 40 Writes is its first project.

The Rules

THE RULES:
HOMAGE TO MOSES AND JAMAICA KINCAID
Ages 0-12
1. Pick up your toys
2. Don’t squeeze the cat
3. Don’t pinch your brother
4. Don’t cry
5. Don’t whine
6. Don’t throw dirt clods
7. Don’t tattle
8. Don’t say bad words
9. Don’t lie
10. Don’t cross the highway

Ages 13 to 22
1. Set the table
2. Make your bed
3. Do the dinner dishes
4. Don’t talk back
5. Don’t roll your eyes
6. Don’t make Cs
7. Don’t kiss until the third date
8. Don’t spill milkshake on a borrowed formal
9. Don’t sit in the car in the driveway with a boy at the end of a date
10. Call home every Sunday
11. Don’t look like a hippie
12. Don’t sleep late
13. Don’t marry a man we don’t know

Ages 23-50
1. Don’t leave the house without diapers
2. Don’t leave the house without wipes
3. Don’t leave the house without Kleenex
4. Make sure the family eats dinner together every night
5. Don’t make children wear clothing they don’t like
6. Don’t drink wine after work
7. Don’t let daughters go to wild parties
8. Grade papers promptly
9. Don’t quarrel in front of the children
10. Don’t gain weight

Ages 50-75
1.Don’t call the children except in emergencies. They are busy.
2.Don’t call husband when he is golfing. He won’t answer anyway.
3.Don’t drink coffee for breakfast
4.Don’t eat tomato sauce for dinner
5.Don’t eat fatty, greasy or fast food ever
6. Don’t forget your hearing aids
7. Exercise more
8. Eat less
9. Exercise more
10. Watch where you are walking
11. Don’t trip
12. Never pass up an opportunity to use the restroom

Rule Follower

Following the Rules